Answered questions(30)
Out of Control Spouse
Hi Anna, I'm separated from my AH he has spiraled out of control he was trying to get home then I found out he had been sleeping about and texting loads of o/w that was why I asked him to leave in dec 12 i found a woman's number on his phone that he's been using for 18 months but still denies a affair. H e sais he doesn't love me and won't be coming back but he was trying to get back in July and then I found out about this sleazy life also he has been taking cocaine. He also has nothing to do with our son who is 14. He knows my son knows about the other women and my son was disgusted and ignored a couple of texes from him. We never hear from him he doesn't contact us, its me who contacts him and I am very angry most of the time we were together for 25 years. Should | stop the contact and let him just get on with his life? Is he in full blown alcoholism now? He has been drinking for 9 month solid possibly 5-6 days a week he is loosing everything but won't admit a problem or seek help. He is also very sleazy sexually something that he wasn't before what has caused this? I have lost the love of my life to alcohol? Can you please advise should I cut all contact and let him live his life? very hard to watch someone kill themselves that you love. Thanks. Tracy
Read answer →AA/NA Donations
Do I have to put money in the pot at AA meetings? If I don’t have money I don’t go because I am ashamed.
Read answer →Help a Heavy Drinker Stay Healthier
Everybody talks about getting people to quit but what I need information on his helping a person that doesn’t want to quit stay as healthy as possible. My partner is a 46 year old unrepentant heavy drinker who does not deny that he drinks too much and who has no intention of stopping. I am worried that he will die young but if I make any small comments about his drinking then he gets very angry and to be fair he was clear about not wanting to change from the start of our relationship. What can I do to help him reduce the damage that alcohol does to his liver and body? For example he had this habit of taking Tylenol at night every night to prevent hangovers and I got him to stop this to protect his liver. Are there any other diet or lifestyle steps he can take that don’t involve him drinking less but that will help him stay healthier?
Read answer →Alcoholic Friend
My friend is 27. She has been drinking a fifth of rum everyday since she was 24, or sometimes more when she goes out to a bar. How long can she survive if she continues to drink this much every day? I am very worried about her but she will not listen when I tell her how dangerous this is! She says lots of people drink a bottle a day. The problem is all her other friends drink like fish too so she has a funny idea about what is normal.
Read answer →Relapse While on Vacation
I am 14 months sober or actually I should say I was 14 months sober. I am on vacation at the beach and for some reason I just felt that old itch last night and so I scratched it. There is something about hotels that always makes me want to tie one on. So I am supposed to stay here for another 2 weeks. Do you think it matters if I just stay and keep drinking for as long as my vacation is since I have already started or should I end my trip early and go back to AA meetings. I was going to a lot of aa meetings but I stopped going when I got busy at work about 4 months ago and I guess I figured I didn’t need them anymore.
Read answer →H.A.L.T. (Hungry Angry Lonely Tired)
I have never as an adult wanted to sleep for more than 3 or 4 hours a night. My therapist says this is one reason why I am having trouble with a pattern or relapsing. I am an alcoholic in recovery. I want a second opinion. I do not think every person needs 8 hours a night. I do not feel tired and I do not think fatigue is the reason why I have relapsed. Do I really need to force myself to get more sleep than I need? Is it actually possible to be tired and not realize that you are tired? This seems unlikely to me?
Read answer →Opposite Sex Sponsor
My wife is a recovering alcoholic. She has had trouble finding a sponsor that she feels comfortable with. Now she has found a sponsor that she really likes and she says he gets her and calls her on her bulls**t. The problem is he is a handsome guy and she had an affair before one when she was still drinking. I am feeling insecure I guess but I am just not comfortable with her spending a lot of time with this person. Am I wrong to ask her to change because of my jealousy? It feels wrong, but not asking her feels really wrong too, in my gut.
Read answer →Non 12 Step Treatment
Is there a non 12 step mentorship program for people trying to recover from addiction who do not believe in the whole powerlessness and spirituality side of things?
Read answer →Advise for an 30 year Alcoholic
What would your advise be to an alcoholic that has been through treatment 3 times in his 30 years of drinking. He has been in and out of AA for 2-3 years. Once in the last 3 years he was sober 76 days. Today he is sober 1day. He wants to stay sober. He really does. There are just so many struggles in his life. And yes, drinking only makes them worse.
Read answer →Alcoholism Signs
My friend is 18 he can drink for days in a row. Most people I know need to sleep after no more than 24 hours but sometimes he drinks for days in a row with barely any sleep. Does this mean he is already an alcoholic?
Read answer →How to Know If You Are an Alcoholic
Who can help me with a drinking problem? I have been to 12 steps meetings and they just don’t feel right to me. I feel like everyone there has a problem that’s 10 times worse than what I am dealing with. I feel like a poseur. But on the other hand I keep getting into trouble with drinking and with drinking and driving and from my wife who I am separated with at the moment in part because of the problems from my drinking. I have a problem but I do not drink every day and I do not think I am an alcoholic. I feel like AA and rehab and what not is all set up to deal with people who are alcoholics and I am not sure where the guy like me is supposed to turn? Can you offer me any advice on getting some help, even though I must stress, I am not an alcoholic?
Read answer →Opening a Sober Living Home
I want to open a sober house in Philadelphia. I am not a guy that is trying to capitalize on others misfortune and just doing this for the money like I know a lot of people that start sober homes are I am a recovering alcoholic with 4 years of sobriety that wants to give back. I am in the process of inheriting my mothers 5 room house and this is why I am in a position to do this. What do I need to do to do this? Are there any special licenses I need? Since I am going to charge a very low or reasonable price I think I can fill the rooms pretty easily.
Read answer →SMART Recovery Vs. AA
Do you think SMART recovery is an effective alcoholism recovery system? Do you think that online meetings work as well as fact to fact meetings (which would have to be AA for me in my community). I do not like the system of AA but do you think I should combine going to AA for the face to face stuff and the friendships and doing the SMART recovery thing online? I’d almost be scared if I got ‘found out’ at AA….
Read answer →Making Amends
I am not in AA but I was an alcohol addict for about 15 years. During that time I did many things that I feel ashamed of. I I’d rather not live through all the humiliations again. I’d rather seal that time off and try to forget most of it. This is one reason I do not go to AA. The idea of going back to find everyone I ever treated badly to say sorry is not something I would want to do. I am 6 months and 6 days sober. It is not easy yet. What I want to know is is does going back and saying sorry to people from the past offer me any significant advantage today? I pretty much feel that doing that would be so stressful I’d have to be drunk to get through it.
Read answer →Alcoholic Boyfriend
My boyfriend drinks very heavy. its gotten to the point where he needs it every night and when he's off of work he can't stop. He's fighting with his parents and I. When he's this way he can admit to having a drinking problem, but he he's sober he doesn't think he has one and won't go to AA or back to rehab. What is it that we are doing wrong? We have tried everything to get him to go to rehab. Please help
Read answer →How Long Should You Stay in a Halfway House?
How long should a recovering alcoholic stay in a halfway house after rehab? She is a girl who is 25 who fell in with a partying crowd when she left home at 18 and things got way out of control for her. This was her first stay in rehab.
Read answer →Does It Take More Than Willpower to Stop Drinking?
How can I make my willpower stronger? I am trying to stop myself from drinking liquor every night. I do not have a drinking problem really since I am kept on my toes as the owner of my own contracting company with 16 people counting on my for paychecks but too often I feel like those late night drinks with the guys steal energy from me that I should be directing towards my wife and 2 kids. I have good intentions but I work a lot late nights and my business partner always has vodka on ice in his office and there is just always drinking going on around me I always say just one then and that always turns into just 7 or 8 before I manage to head back home.
Read answer →How to Decrease Drinking
I have made the same new years resolution that I am going to make this year for the past 3 years. I want to cut down my drinking. I am not an alcoholic but I do drink too much and I am overweight and unhealthy because of this. I never make it more than a few weeks though before my old habits return. I do truly wish to cut down and to keep it up but I am not really interested in stopping altogether. I go to a lot of dinners and parties and I can’t imagine doing this without drinking anything at all. Can you give me some advice to help me stay true to my goal to reduce my alcohol intake over the next year?
Read answer →Alcoholics Wanting Someone to Drink with
Morning. Why do male alcoholics want their girlfriend to drink with them?
Read answer →Alcoholic Brain Damage
Is there anything I can do to reverse alcoholic brain damage? I am 11 months sober. I was hoping that my thinking problems were only temporary but after almost a year I don’t think I am going to just get substantially better. My ability to concentrate and hold and manipulate abstract thoughts in my working memory is substantially worse than it was 5 years ago. I am only 34 so I know I am to blame for my brain damage.
Read answer →Incentive for Daughter to Quit Drinking
The prices of rehabs can be extraordinary. Please consider this alternative idea. If a rehab could cost 20 000 dollars for just 28 days. What if a person was given a chance to earn that money for themselves just by staying sober and by using self help groups that are free. For example think about this. Imagine I said to a person I will give you 1000 dollars a month to not drink alcohol and to go to one AA meeting every day and one counseling session every week. You must wear an alcohol monitoring anklet so I know that you are not cheating. You do not get the money at the end of each month. Instead it piles up. If you can make it for 20 months you get the whole 20 000 dollars. If you drink you have to start at the beginning again. This way I am only paying for a program that gets me 20 months of abstinence. This is more than any rehab can guarantee and it gives the person a real incentive to stay sober. I would like to consider suggesting a plan such as this to my daughter. Is it reasonable?
Read answer →Logic Won't Convince an Alcoholic to Stop
I know my husband drinks too much but he always has a good reason for every drink he has. He is very smart and a lawyer and whenever I raise the subject I always end up losing the debate. This approach isn’t working. I cannot win this argument with him and so I cannot convince him to drink less or maybe even seek some help. If I cannot convince him through reason, what other approach should I try?
Read answer →Alternatives to Alcoholics Anonymous
I don’t like AA meetings. I know there are a few alternatives like rational recovery etc. Can you recommend which of the alternatives to AA is the best one? I have a problem accepting the whole drinking as a disease concept and that I am powerless over my own choices.
Read answer →Alcoholics Anonymous
What percentage of people that try AA actually get and stay sober for a long time. Do you think there is anything special about what happens in AA exactly or is just that meeting with a bunch of other people who are also trying to stay sober is helpful support?
Read answer →Alcoholism Treatment without Insurance
Hi, I'm an EAP Coordinator and have a friend who is suffering from Alcoholism. She has no insurance but wants help. I do not want her to detox by herself. Any suggestions on where to send her? Outpatient will not work. Thanks, Mike
Read answer →Am I an Alcoholic or Am I Depressed?
I feel really flat and unhappy. I have been drinking too much for a long time because this is the only thing that at least makes me feel something. My parents want to send me to rehab. Oh I am 27 and still live at home. No job. I think that alcohol is a problem for me because I am so habituated to needing it to fall asleep each night and pass the time all evening but I do not think it is the main problem and that is that I just am feeling very flat and unhappy. I told my parents this but they just think I am trying to get out of going to rehab and that is not totally true, but maybe it is coloring my judgment a little…who knows. Based on what I have told you do you think I should go to rehab?
Read answer →Alcohol Withdrawal and Delerium Tremens
If I felt like bugs were crawling beneath my skin while I was in alcohol withdrawal does that mean I had the DTs? I detoxed on my own and I thought I was going to die it was absolute hell.
Read answer →Substituting One Drug for Another
I have a drinking problem that I have never been able to control and I have been to AA meetings before. I do not always drink but when I do I drink for days and it gets bad. I was in a car accident and I got some Vicodin for back pain and I noticed that when I took Vicodin I had no desire to drink and I also never had a real desire to try to get stoned and take too much of the Vicodin. I have never been into opiates. I do not take this medication every day but now when I feel a strong need to drink I just take 2 or 3 pills over a night and I can go to bars or anywhere with my friends and have no problem sticking with sprite all night. So far I have done this 4 times and I have not been drunk in 3 and a half weeks which is looong for me. If I am strict with myself and only take this medication no more than once or twice a week when I really need to drink will I get addicted physically? I think that once I can get out of a drinking habit for a few months or maybe even for a year I just won’t feel the need to drink so much anymore.
Read answer →Teen Looking for Alcoholism Treatment for a Parent
Hello, I am the daughter of an alcoholic. I am 15 years old and I live with my Dad and step mother, visiting with my alcoholic mother every weekend. I know my mother would get help if I found a way for her to. She seems to have given up but I haven't. She is on disability for her back so she doesn't have enough money to go to a treatment facility and I don't think her insurance would cover it. Is there any way for her to be admitted to a facility for free or for her to get help for free?
Read answer →Alcohol Detox - Without Money for Treatment
I live in Atlanta. I have no money to pay the rent this month. I am unemployed. I am an alcoholic. I was working as a pizza chef and I got fired for drinking at work. I used to be a guy that had a master’s degree and now I am a guy that can’t hold down a job in a pizza place. I am ready to stop but I have no money (as I mentioned). If I just wait until I get really shaky and then go to a hospital will they detox me? I wake up with bad shakes every morning so it won’t take too long. I think if I can not drink until midnight I will be in very bad shape. I want to move into a sober living house but I need to get detoxed first. There is no way I can afford rehab.
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