Confidentiality & Reassurances

Question

My daughter is 2 months old. She seems fine. I split up with my boyfriend before I even knew I was pregnant and I went into a really bad place and I actually drank a lot for the first 4 months of the pregnancy. I am back together with my boyfriend now and we are trying to make this work. I am an alcoholic. I don’t think he could forgive me if I tell him I was drinking when pregnant or if he found out somehow. I know need to tell my pediatrician about what I did but I am scared to. She was a little small 2780 grams but her face looks fine. Will the doctor keep my drinking a secret from the dad?

Jim LaPierre · Accepted Answer

Hi, thank you for your question. The short answer is that if you do not identify information regarding who the father is, the doctor will have no one to report to. If you are concerned about your boyfriend learning this then I would recommend not identifying him to the pediatrician. I would challenges you on what the cost of keeping this secret is for you? It feels like shame and shame is an alcoholic's worst enemy as it leaves us pushing away those who want to support us.

Being completely honest with your doctor is vital to the health and well being of your daughter and I urge you to be completely candid. There's a good chance no damage was done but the more your doc knows the more they will be able to offer the reassurances that you need and the more your daughter's health and well being are assured. Best wishes, Jim

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