Cured of Alcoholism

Question

My husband quit drinking 3 months ago and he is doing great. He had to go to a 2 month outpatient treatment program after his second DUI and he was going to AA but he stopped a couple of weeks ago and says he is doing fine on his own and that he doesn't need any help any more. He was pretty bad for a while last year and I am actually shocked at how easily he has been able to make this enormous change. He used to drink until he passed out in front of the TV every night for years.

He told me last night that he plans on going with his buddies for a weekend of ice fishing as soon as the lake is solid enough. These weekends, as far as I know, are pretty much all about drinking with the guys and very little about the actual fishing. He says he just won't drink and that he is totally fine now and that I shouldn't worry about it. I am very worried about it but I don't know if I am overreacting. He has been doing so well so should I just trust him when he says he is cured? Or should I make this a very big deal and insist that he not go. I have threatened to leave him and take the kids away before and that was one of the reasons why he quit.

Melissa Borlie · Accepted Answer

Alcoholics are almost never "cured" of their addiction and very few can return to "normal" drinking after drinking alcoholically. Your husband's sobriety is exactly that--his sobriety. Your making a big deal of his trip will do nothing toward keeping him sober and may give him just another excuse for why he drinks. He has to get sober and stay sober on his own; with or without the help of AA. Many people do have an epiphany and get sober with the help of church, a doctor's warning, or a threat of losing their family.

I would suggest that you check into Al-Anon, a program for friends and family members of alcoholics (whether the alcoholic is drinking or not). They can give you support and guidance on your journey; while your husband walks his own path to sobriety. If your husband chooses not to stay sober, then you will need to make decisions to protect yourself and your children from further harm. Al-Anon can be a valuable resource in making decisions and taking action. I wish you the best of luck in your journey!

About the Expert