Lying is More Concerning than Gambling

Question

My fiancé likes to play blackjack. I do not like it and I always ask him exactly how much he wins or loses. Last weekend he went to the casino and he told me he lost $200. Then I saw a text on his phone from one of his friends saying he needed the $1200 my husband borrowed back right away. He denied it but then he told me that he lied because I treat him like a child when he is only spending his own money. I don’t know what to think. He works in a cash business so it is hard for me to know how much he gambles. I see that everyone he works with drives a nice car and we are always month to month. How worried should I be by this? If I listen to my friends I should be very worried…

Jim LaPierre · Accepted Answer

Hi there and thanks for your question. My heart goes out to you. It's difficult to gauge from this limited information whether or not he has a gambling problem, but the fact that he lied to you about it is a red flag suggesting he does. More importantly, he lied to you and that's likely to undermine your trust moving forward. I would suggest working out a budget in which you agree to a discretionary amount for entertainment. Living month to month doesn't really afford one the luxury of gambling. We can only risk what we can afford to lose. Listen to your intuition and try not to analyze. Best wishes, Jim

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