Question
Dear Mum and Dad
Your is a story of devoted work to support the son in his difficult life. You are telling me that you are running out of resources for yourselves as people and also financially. I am hearing that he has been able to make some improvements in his life. He has weaned himself off of suboxone and when he attended a 6 month programme, he learned to take responsibility for himself and was a little better. You have lived your life putting your addicted children first. You have had a very hard time and so have your children. I think you should contact some of the groups that give support to the family of addicts. AlAnon is one but you will be able to find local groups. These groups will help you to look after yourself in the face of addiction and guilt and as you do this, your son will learn that doing some thing useful in taking himself forwards will give him self respect and a happier life. You both need help to make this change. It sounds crazy, but having gone through the process of standing firm and letting my son take responsibility eventually led to a happy and constructive relationship between us. The drinking has not stopped but he is the one worrying about it not me. It will take time, but I ask you to get some help for yourselves so that you can manage the process which will lead to help for him, and give him the opportunity to take responsibility for himself. You wont change overnight, your change is more difficult than his, but it will bring sanity into the situation.
I am writing from the UK, so I dont know any local support for your son. It is his job to go and find some. He needs to know the financial reality you are living with.
If you want to work with me further by e-mail, then contact me at mrsjilledwards@gmail.com.
About the Expert
Jill Edwards
MSc
Bristol, United Kingdom
Specialties
Anger Management, Anxiety or Fears, Spirituality, Compulsive Disorders, Trauma and PTSD, Life Coaching, Addiction or Substance Abuse, OCD, Mood Disorders, Personality Disorders, Domestic Abuse or Domestic Violence, Chronic Pain or Illness, ADHD, Impulse Control Disorders, Elderly Persons Disorders, Women, Loss or Grief, Eating Disorders, Depression, Finding Your Purpose in Life
License
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