Answered questions(6)
How Trauma Changes Us: Anger
My ex tried to kill me and he burnt down my home. He was abusive for a long time and he swore he'd kill me if I ever left him. I kicked him out of my house and got a restraining order against him after the police were called when he was beating me a few months ago. He left but 2 months later he burnt down the house while I was in it. I got out but my dog died and everything I had is gone. The police can't prove that he did it but I am sure that he did. I have left the city and am in a place he doesn't know about. I am so angry now all of the time. I have a right to feel angry but it doesn't help me that I go into a rage when someone cuts in line in traffic or when the waitress gets my order wrong. Little stuff that doesn't matter and I totally lose control and scream. I don't even recognize myself after the fact. It's like I become a different person for a while. Why can't I control my anger anymore? I am sure it is related to what's going on in my life. More importantly, how can I get back in control of myself? I feel like I am not myself and I need some help but I don't really know who to turn to. I don't have a family doctor or anything like that and it seems weird to go to a clinic to tell my story to a stranger, because it sounds crazy. I feel like I am going crazy.
Read answer →Educators Know When Students Are Struggling At Home!
I am a 4th grade teacher and I believe that one of my students is having a problem at home and I am not sure how to help out. He is a very bright boy and he is very well behaved but in the last 2 months or so his behavior has changed and he is now very attention seeking and disruptive and paradoxically becoming a bit of a loner where he used to have an active social group of friends. He is showing a very noticeable shift in behavior. I have had 2 of his older siblings in previous years and I have come to know the mother to some degree. She is a single mother and in my experience she has always been very caring and conscientious and her children are always well looked after and always have their work done. I believe that education is a priority for her. After her son missed some school a while back it was explained to me that she had been assaulted at work and she was recovering in the hospital and her children were temporarily at relatives. After her son came back to school everything was fine but his behavior has deteriorated since then, he rarely does his homework and he often wears dirty clothes to school and looks as if he is un-showered. I have tried getting the mother to come in for a conference but she will not come in. When I ask her son how she is doing he says she is ‘fine’ but spends most of the day in bed. The mother also dodges my phone calls but on one occasion when I managed to connect with her she acknowledged that she was dealing with some PTSD from her attack I do not know what I can do to help. Under normal situations when it appears that there is a neglect situation my first move would be to contact child protective services. In this case, because I know the mother to be very caring and a good mom, I am very reluctant to go to this extreme because of the difficult consequences for the family that could result from it. If things continue as they have been, however, I will probably have no choice but to do it. What I would like to know is how can I, as a teacher, help the boys so that they are less impacted by their mother’s sudden disability; to enable her to have a little more time to get her act back together?
Read answer →How Trauma Changes Us: Avoidance and Self-Medication
I got attacked walking home from work a couple of months ago. I am a waitress and finish around midnight. This guy pushed me down and ripped off my jewelry and purse. He pulled my necklace so hard I had a red line around my neck for like 2 weeks after. Now, I don’t walk home alone any more but I find that I don’t even like to go home to an empty house so now I go out every night after work for a few drinks and now I think I am an alcoholic. I need to get drunk enough to pass out every night. How do I stop drinking? My friend said I should go to AA but if I don’t drink I am scared on my own so I don’t think this is going to work.
Read answer →The Shattering Impact of Trauma
I was raped 2 years ago. This is weird to say but I don’t know how to be myself anymore. It is never something I used to think about but I always just knew who I was – I was me. Now I’m like bits and pieces. I am certainly less confident and assured than I used to be. I feel like I have lost my sense of myself and It’s like I don’t know myself anymore and I don’t like who I have become. I can’t really explain better than this but I know it’s hard to understand. Does this make any sense to you? Is this common? Is there anything I can do to stop feeling like this and start feeling like me again?
Read answer →We Learn to Treat Ourselves The Way We Are Treated: Deconstructing the Trauma-Based Self
I dunno if you can help me. I feel beyond lost, my own family have told me that im broken, incapable of love. I am struggling with my life, ive been a victim of every kind of child abuse from my family and oldest brother. Ive tried to get help and my family have banished/abandoned me. Ive two amazing children who have kept me alive, happy but i know that i cant allow them to know how afraid i am, how lost i get. ve scared that they (my family )may be right bout me... That i am broken or incapable of love. im not in a relationship since my divorce last year, i havent had a relationship since i moved towns... Is there something wrong with me? Am i truly broken? Am i unable too love anyone?
Read answer →Confidentiality and Therapy: What Are The Limits?
My friend is a victim of sexual assault, but does not want to report it. She does not want to go through the legal process or have everyone she knows find out. I am not very good at comforting and she does not want to go to a therapist for fear of the incident being reported. Would a therapist be required to report it?
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