Answered questions(27)
I have decided to turn my life over to God, but how do I believe in him?
I am ready to turn my life over to a higher power but I don’t really know how to do this. I have never been a religious person so I am not used to praying or church stuff. I am an alcoholic. What do I do if I have decided to believe in God. How do I make this happen? Or do I just read the Bible and try to live the way it ways to and it will come to me eventually? I can see that my questions don’t really exactly explain things but basically I want to know how to believe in God?
Read answer →Reconciliation requires both parties to agree
I am a recovering alcoholic who is reborn in Christ. I have an ex wife and I treated her very badly during our marriage. I was physically, sexually and emotionally abusive. I was totally out of control and now I am very ashamed at what I did, and since I can only remember a fraction of those years I am sure she went through more than I can remember. I would like to reconcile with her. I do not expect her to ever forgive me or take me back, but I want to somehow express to her how sorry I am and that I am a changed man. I would like to help her get closure on any issues that she might be dealing with from our time together. We have one child together and she is now 6 and I have not seen her since she was a baby. I would like to clear away the wreck of the past so that we can start fresh together again, at least as people who can work together as parents. I have always offered financial support but I would like to now be able to offer more than just that as a father. Is couples counseling the right kind of counseling to go to to achieve what I am looking for. I want it to be Christian in orientation. She currently won’t speak to me but I think my ex wife would be convincible to give it a try since I pay more than what is required in alimony and child support.
Read answer →How to stop drinking and contribute something to this world?
I was really drunk last night and I don't really remember leaving the bar. This is pretty normal. I don't remember driving home but I must have hit something on the way because my car is all dented in the bumper and hood. I have no idea what could have happened and I am so scared that I hit somebody or hurt someone and that the police are going to show up soon. There was red paint scratches on my black car so I don't think it was a pedestrian thank God. I am only 26 and I don't want to spend the rest of my life in jail. I have been drinking every day for too long and I cannot stop and I have tried on countless occasions. I am doing nothing good in the world and for all I know I killed someone last night. I want to change and I can't be in this world anymore. I have not been a member of any church for too long but I do believe that God has a plan for me. Is there somewhere I can go away and just work and try to make amends, like a monastery or Christian community? I do not have much money but I am willing to work hard and stay straight for an opportunity to start over.
Read answer →Is there an alcohol program that teaches moderation rather than abstinence?
I have a drinking problem but I do not want to eliminate alcohol from my life. Professionally this would be problematic for me as I am often called on to wine and dine. I do need to learn how to take control of my drinking so that I don’t end up leaving a business dinner 2 glasses of wine in and then going home to finish 2 bottles more. I am a Christian and I am interested to find an alcohol program that teaches moderation habits or willpower from a Christ based perspective and that is not abstinence based. I am willing to work from a program online or in person (Chicago). Do you know of anything that would meet my needs?
Read answer →Christian counselling for an eating disorder
How would a Christian counselor deal with a teenager girl who has an eating disorder, anorexia? She is enrolled in a hospital outpatient program in Miami but I am concerned that she is not making as much headway as she needs to and I am not sure if she has the strength to overcome this disease on her own. Our pastor has spoken to her on several occasions but we were thinking that she might benefit from sitting down with someone with more training on a more regular basis.
Read answer →Anger toward God following sexual assault
I was the victim of a sexual assault 4 years ago and since that time I have had to work through a lot of personal fear and anger issue but the truth is I am still angry I just hide it better so no one really knows. I know it is wrong but in my heart I can’t help but even be angry with God for what I experienced. I used to find forming close personal connections quite easy, romantic and otherwise, but now I feel closed and distrustful all the time and that has really made it harder to get close to another person. I am tired of living alone within these walls of fear and bitterness I’ve built up around me but I am not sure how to break free from something that comes inside of me. I feel like I need to learn to forgive God first because if I can’t do that how can I move on with anything else. But how do I do that? Nothing I have tried has worked.
Read answer →Finding life's purpose following addiction recovery
I feel like I am wasting this life I was given. I was a drinker and drug user for years but I have moved past that and am 11 months sober now. I am grateful to be away from all the low things I used to see and do but now I do not know what purpose my life is supposed to have. I know I was put on this earth for a reason. How can I find out what I am supposed to do now?
Read answer →Scripture passages for alcohol cravings
I am a born again Christian man and I have a real problem with my drinking. Can you recommend any passages of scripture that I might read when I feel the urges to drink whiskey?
Read answer →Assessment for ADHD
if my connors score and my sons teachers scoring sheets are totally different, how will teh psycologist work out the diagnosis?
Read answer →Is my mom suffering from depression or complicated grief?
My mom is depressed I think. My dad died a year ago and she is not the person she used to be. She used to be very involved in church groups socially but she is not interested in getting out of the house much these days. I had CBT for anxiety and it did me a lot of good so I am a big proponent of counseling but I am not sure CBT is what she needs because it seems to me she is dealing with spiritual issues that are causing the depression. She doesn’t want to talk about it but I find it really strange that she doesn’t want to go to church anymore since dad died. I don’t know much about Christian counseling but is this the kind of person/situation that you would be able to work with?
Read answer →How can I stop internet porn addiction before the wedding?
I am engaged and the wedding is set for June. I am a virgin but I believe I have a problem with pornography. I look at porn on the internet every night and I cannot control myself once I start. Oftentimes I will end up looking at pornographic websites until the early morning hours. I feel compelled to do this. I do not want to bring this habit into my marriage and I do not ever want my wife to be to know about it. I am very ashamed of myself. How do I stop myself so that she never needs to know about this part of me?
Read answer →Is abortion the best option for young parents-to-be?
My girlfriend and I are 17. She is 2 months pregnant. Neither her or I am ready to be a parent. We are both Christians and go to the same church. She says she wants to have an abortion. She says she knows it is wrong but that she cannot stand the idea of having this baby. I want her to have the baby and give it up for adoption. I know that it will be hard for her but it is the right thing to do. She is not sure and she is very upset. What can I say to convince her that abortion is the wrong choice. I am willing to go to her parents if I have to but this will end our relationship I am sure and I love her and do not want this to happen. I am very torn and not sure what I am supposed to do.
Read answer →How can I forgive myself for the way I treated my parents when I was an addict?
I cannot forgive myself for how I treated my parents when I was using. I stole from them I abused them physically and emotionally and verbally and I scared and bullied them so I could get what I wanted (money and drugs). I do not know why but they forgive me but I can’t forgive myself. I don’t want to think about these memories all the time but I am always remembering new scenes from the past that I had forgotten and every time it is like a kick in the stomach and the pain and shame and guilt is more than I can take. I am trying to take care of them financially. I feel like this is the way I can work to repay them for their kindness. But they are also a constant reminder of what I did in the past and I feel like I can’t take it anymore. I am 6 months sober from cocaine but I am hanging on by thread. I need to either forgive or forget. I am supposed to pray for forgiveness but I know I don’t deserve it.
Read answer →How can I let go and let God lead me to sobriety?
I am kind of confused . I am an alcoholic and for the first time I am really trying to get sober. I know I need to let go and let god but if I let go I always just end up drinking and if I struggle against it it doesn’t feel like I am letting go and letting God do His work for me. How can I trust in God to lead me and fight against the path He seems to have me walk?
Read answer →Is the Recovery Bible a helpful book?
Do you know the Christian Recovery Bible? Is it actually more helpful than the regular Bible for a person with alcoholism? This is for a gift for my brother who is in rehab now and I want to get him a graduation gift. Is there a Faith centered book for alcoholism that you would especially recommend other than the recovery Bible?
Read answer →Addressing guilt feelings in addiction recovery
I am a crystal meth addict trying to stay clean. I have done some really terrible things when high and to get money and to be honest it’s hard to look at myself in the mirror and feel very good about myself these days. I feel a lot of remorse for what I have done but I really believe that God forgives me. The problem is I just can’t seem to forgive myself and it is causing me a lot of pain to feel this way. And the only really good way that I know how to deal with pain is go out and score some meth. It feels wrong to let the past go but I feel like unless I do I’ll never be able to do right (if that makes any sense). If God can forgive me for all that I have done why can’t I forgive myself?
Read answer →How can I assist my addicted son to turn his life around?
My son is a drug addict and he says he no longer believes in God. He argues with me that I am delusional to have faith. I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. He is always high and aggressive and I don’t ever know if he means what he says or he is just trying to hurt me after I won’t give him money for drugs. I am desperate to help him and it hurts me to see him this way. How can I bring him back to the faith he was raised in? I feel like if he could get back to prayer and faith he could have the strength to stop living this thug life he seems so proud of now.
Read answer →Couple work
I feel that my husband and I are no longer as connected as we once were and I am less satisfied with some aspects of our married life than I would like to be. I have been trying to get my husband to agree to some marriage counseling but he says that we can get through this rough patch on our own with prayer and by making more effort for special ‘date nights’ and by putting more tie into our relationship. I do not think this will be enough since we are very stuck in our negative ways. I do not underestimate the power of prayer but I also know that we must actively seek out the answers sometimes. How can I convince my husband that prayer alone is not enough in this situation?
Read answer →How to overcome binge eating problem
I have a problem with binge eating. I think I am trying to fill some emptiness within myself with food, but no matter how much I eat I can never feel whole for very long. I am getting very obese and I am disgusted with myself. I feel like I do not know how to change the course of my life but I feel as though I need a spiritual solution because I believe I have a spiritual problem. I am 29 and I live alone. I have a high paying job but I am not a happy person.
Read answer →Strengthening Faith through Counseling?
I was raised in a Christian home but we were never a particularly devout family. I am engaged to be married to a great woman who has a very deep Faith and relationship with Christ. Although I am a Believer my relationship with God has never been a very significant part of my everyday life, other than going to church on most Sunday’s. I envy my fiancée for the strength and joy she gets from her much more intimate relationship with God, compared to my very intellectual but less everyday-meaningful one. Because of this and because I think stronger faith would strengthen our marriage to come, I would like to develop a stronger relationship with Christ. Is this something a Christian counselor can help me with? I would turn to our pastor but I have never felt very comfortable with him, though I do respect him for what he does.
Read answer →Where is God when I'm depressed?
My wife has clinical depression and it’s really hard on her because she has always drawn a lot of strength and inspiration from prayer and now she says she can barely bring herself to really pray in any meaningful way. She understands that it is her disease that is causing her to feel this way but in her heart I think she feels a lot of guilt and despair at this loss of connection and at her inability to open herself up to Christ. I am not sure how to help her. I want to know if Christian counseling might be something that could help her to find her way again.
Read answer →Will Christian faith eventually come?
Faith is very important to my girlfriend and I have been hopelessly in love with her since I got to know her as an intern in my office a little more than a year ago. I am not real proud of this…I am an atheist but I have been pretending to be a Christian and even going to church with her every Sunday ever since we started dating seriously. I lied about my faith or lack of faith at first because I was scared she would write me off otherwise but now that I’ve been to church with her like 50 times (and I even say a phony grace, to my great shame, before every meal we eat together…) I have no idea what to do. I asked her to marry me and she said yes, but now that I think of her meeting my whole family and getting to know everyone I am not sure my great deceit won’t unravel. What do I do? She is the one for me but if I tell her I’ve been lying about this all this then she’ll be devastated…I am living a lie but the lie I am living with her in it is a lot better than the truth I’d be living without her. If I keep faking it will it come in time and will I become the Christian I am pretending to be now?
Read answer →Dealing with trauma after recovery
My fiance is coming off of a physical addiction to pain killers right now. I know that getting hooked on them to begin with is for a reason. He has been through some losses in life, including his biggest, loosing his mother to cancer in under a year. His job stresses him on a regular basis with very bad managing practices. He has seen CEO's of a rival company in twice to tour where he works and is nervous they will sell/brings up questions of job security even more than he has been dealing with. My question is, once he is off the drugs completely and in recovery...how can I best encourage him to deal with his past traumas? I want our marriage as healthy as it can be. We have faith in Jesus Christ and our relationship has been rooted and growing in Him from the beginning but we are still coming out of the woods of his addiction.
Read answer →Is addiction a spiritual or a medical problem?
I have a problem with drinking and with smoking marijuana. I drink and smoke everyday. It has cost me an important relationship with my fiancée and I am at risk of being fired at work. I know that I need to change but I cannot seem to stop using when I try on my own. I have tried many times but I always wind up back at after a couple of day at the most. I feel very ashamed at myself for my weakness and my failures. I want to get some treatment. I am a Christian man and I believe Jesus can heal all wounds but I also know I was given a brain of my own for a reason, so I can think about what is best to do. I want to know if science and medicine based alcohol and drug treatment works better than Christian treatment. I am a bit confused because some people are telling me that addiction is a spiritual problem and others are telling me it is a medical disease. If I have a spiritual problem I go the church and I would not go to a doctor. If I had cancer or some other disease though I would not go the church for treatment, I would go to a hospital.
Read answer →Difficulty with AA concept of a Higher Power
I am not an atheist but I am not really a Christian either. I believe that something created the universe and that there was some sort of design but I have a very hard time believing in a power that watches over me or takes some interest in my life personally – especially when I consider the scale and age of the universe and compare that to the concerns of my own very insignificant in comparison life. My beliefs have always served me well enough in that I never had to really question them, but now I am at a point in my life where I need to stop drinking. I recognize that I am an alcoholic and I have started attending AA meetings. The problem is much of the program as I understand it has me praying to and seeking guidance from this higher power. How can I make AA work for me when I do believe in some sort of higher power, but when I don’t believe that this power has any direct influence on my life as I live it today? Pretending to sort of believe that my ‘prayers’ will have any results feels pretty insincere to me and I can’t see how this could work. I am only lying to myself, right?
Read answer →If I let God down, will he still love me?
If you hear God call you and you say no to His love and you feel Him leave and you feel such an unbelievable emptiness and it lasts for months and all you do is cry over your mistake, would God ever give you another chance to accept Him would He ever call you again? Or does He cut you off forever?
Read answer →How can I be free from alcohol addiction if I can't feel God?
I believe in God but i do not really know how to pray in a meaningful way. I am an alcoholic and I am trying to work through the steps of AA. On one level I believe that God can help me overcome alcoholism and that I cannot do it alone but the problem is I don't feel the hand of God in any visceral way. When I pray I do not feel like I am talking to anyone and although I believe that God can help me overcome alcoholism I have never really felt a personal connection with God so I am not sure how this is supposed to work. Will it just come to me if I keep trying????
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