Having the Right to Drink

Question

My brother says I need to mind my own business because he is only hurting himself with his drinking and since he is not harming anyone else everyone else should just shut up and let him be in peace. I do not think this is true. How can watching your brother drink himself to death not be harmful to everyone else in the family? How do I get him to see this? I try to explain this to him but he won’t hear it. The words won’t go in to his brain.

Jim LaPierre · Accepted Answer

Thank you for writing. Your brother is being very selfish and it sounds like this is where drinking has taken him. You're right - it's painful to watch someone we love slowly kill themselves. Unfortunately, he's not going to hear you as you urge him to stop or try to hold him accountable for how his choices impact those who love him. My suggestion - in a sense you can agree with him - that he does indeed have a right to self destruct and you have a right to be concerned. Trying to get him to change is going to fail. Expressing concern without an expectation of change is the best you can do. Let him know that when and if he is willing to change that you will be there to support him. Take good care of you - accepting powerlessness is a hard pill to swallow

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