Obsession, Compulsion & Violation

Question

I love my wife but have this compelling drive to degrade and humiliate her. I have allowed many men to watch me have sex with her from outside our bedroom window or from inside our bedroom closet. I enjoy meeting with them the next day and discussing just how much they enjoyed the show. It is a huge thrill to hear them tell me details of what they like about her body and how she acts during sex. Further, I take her to our local porn theater and make her expose herself to a lot of the guys in their while they are masturbating while watching the move as well as her breasts. I also enjoy taking her out onto the freeway and making her expose herself to truck drivers. She begs me to not make her do these things but the drive is so strong in me that I can't stop it.

Jim LaPierre · Accepted Answer

Hi, thanks for your question. I understand that your compulsion is overwhelming. My question is - how would you deal with your compulsion if you lose her? It seems like an inevitability. You're showing off your wife the way a child shows off n especially cool toy. Encouraging other men to view her goes beyond voyeurism - what you're enjoying is the feeling that they can't have her and you can. You've objectified her and treated her like an object to be used as you will.

It's not my intention to judge you or to guilt you. Rather, I'm pointing out that your behavior is clearly taking a toll on your wife and eventually will cost both of you a great deal. I urge you to seek treatment from a clinician who is competent in addressing sexual obsessions and compulsions.

The woman you find so beautiful - you treat as a possession and it's only a matter of time until you lose her. You are putting her in situations in which knowingly and unknowingly she is being violated. Your conscience is telling you that this is wrong. Get the help you need to overcome this addiction and to keep connection to the person you love.

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