Sex Addiction Q&A
9 experts · 40+ questions answered
Latest Q&As
Dig Deeper
A daily cannabis user of 2 years, now 5 days after quitting, reports unexpected erectile difficulties they never had before and asks whether this is normal and when it will resolve.
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Getting the Best Start
Hi and thank you for your excellent question. There are a lot of variables here and very limited info for me to go on but my thoughts are: 1. a weekend is minimal and 45 days is a commitment 2 a weekend with your partner means no individual treatment and while rebuilding intimacy sounds great, it se
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Teenage Porn Addiction
It sounds like you have some of the symptoms of porn addiction. I usually ask people three questions in order to establish if behavior borders on addiction. The first is: Can you stop if you want to or control the behavior? It sounds like that is an issue for you with two or three hours passing look
Answered by Zelik Mintz
Self Medicating to Feel OK
I am so sorry you have had such a traumatic childhood and life. Whether the addiction is alcohol, crack, cocaine, marijuana or sex, you are using to self medicate your pain. And the relief from pain is very short lived - as you've stated in describing your sex addiction. I know you've been in and ou
Answered by Zelik Mintz
Obsession, Compulsion & Violation
Hi, thanks for your question. I understand that your compulsion is overwhelming. My question is - how would you deal with your compulsion if you lose her? It seems like an inevitability. You're showing off your wife the way a child shows off n especially cool toy. Encouraging other men to view her g
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Obsession & Avoidance
I'm really glad you wrote to me. Your question has a lot of layers to it and while it's clear that you need help with obsessive thoughts and compulsive behavior - it's even more clear that you're ashamed and can't tolerate failing your son. The world needs more good dads. You've identified the obsta
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Filling the Emptiness
Hi Ann, What you're describing feels like shame and emptiness. Being alone is something you fear and being with anyone is better than an empty bed. I don't presume to know what drives you but what you're describing doesn't feel so much like an addiction to me. It feels more like your self worth is b
Answered by Jim LaPierre
She's Come Undone
Hi - thanks for your question...vague though it may be. You posted your query in the sex addiction category and ask if there is help for a poor girl? This can pertain to so many things and normally I'd be asking - "Um, hey, could you narrow it down a bit for me?" But then I saw your follow up questi
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Boyfriend porn watcher
I understand your feelings of disgust and also your love for your boyfriend. His addiction to porn is not necessarily as a result of being abused as a child. Many people have had that experience as a child and do not end up watching porn. He is right he does need help but it is unfair and not realis
Answered by Jennifer Martin
strip club addiction
It sounds like it has become an addiction. The question is do you want to break free of the addiction? If so, it will require you learning skills to connect emotionally with people outside of this environment. Let's face it engaging in this behavior is easier than forming real relationships - which
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Looking for Love
Your behavior is more common than you might think. Sex addiction is driven by a desire to connect but an inability to know how to do so beyond just the physical. The number of partners reflects the desire you have to try to connect. Based on your question, it sounds as if you are ready to try someth
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Son viewing torture porn
It is good that you are asking the question because even though this is difficult and it is not an easy conversation to have, it is important that you not ignore it. Typically the choice to view these kinds of explicit images is an indication that your son is dealing with unexpressed feelings of rag
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Emotional Intimacy Back After Recovery From Porn
Hi there, Thanks for writing in and sharing your concerns. This is not uncommon but can be helped. Your wife and you need couple counseling from a psychotherapist specializing in sex addiction treatment. It is a process of slowly rebuilding emotional intimacy and weekly sessions will help strengthen
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Women addicted to porn
It is estimated that 80% of porn addicts are men and 20% are women. Research has shown that people who would not otherwise become sex addicts are lured into compulsive sexual behavior through the "Triple A" engine of the Internet; referring to the anonymity, accessibility and affordability of online
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Fine line in porn usage: Addict or Insensitive Jerk?
Thank you for writing. Your husband's behavior certainly shows great insensitivity to you and is disrespectful to your marriage. Does he identify this as something he wants to stop but cannot or does he simply apologize and repeat the behavior? Internet & pornography addictions are a problem for man
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Feelings for girls on porno webcams
Hi there, What you describe is not uncommon. I don't doubt that your feelings are real. Now, to answer your question, is it bad to develop feelings for girls on webcams? There is no "right" or "wrong" here - just a toll (far beyond the financial one) that you will be faced with. These women are unav
Answered by Jennifer Martin
How to get porn under control?
Dear Anonymous, Here’s what you need to do to get your porn addiction under control: Step 1: Recognize that you have a problem and you need help. You are well on your way, as you have asked for help and are recognizing what your addiction is costing you (relationships, finances, etc.). However, you
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Sex Addiction Recovery & Enmeshment
Great question. There are many stages to sex addiction treatment and recovery. The enmeshed relationship between your husband and his mother would usually not be addressed early on in treatment but yes, it would be critical to address this issue as recovery progresses. So to answer your question, be
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Is he a sex addict?
I am sorry to hear about your difficulty and I understand your concern. To determine if his behavior is addictive around sex, I would have to know more. Sex addiction is about more than having a lot of sex. Frequent sex is not a criteria for sex addiction. Having said that, a person who needs to hav
Answered by Jennifer Martin
Do all men get off on porn that humiliates and degrades women?
First of all, although a lot of men do enjoy watching porn now and then, how often they watch it would range from maybe a few times a year to more than once a day. Whether that becomes a problem or not, depends on how compulsive it gets, and especially what that does to other important things in a p
Answered by David Shannon
Can Two Sex Addicts Heal Each Other?
One of the things you will know about addiction is that it is incredibly difficult to resist, so having met this girl you will find it very hard to stop the addict in you from taking over. Asking me if you might heal each other may mean you can see some real possibility of healing here, or it may ju
Answered by Mark Hughes
Pornography is an ADDICTION
It is important that you are realizing that you have a problem and, at least, wanting to address this problem. I don't know if you are willing to go for treatment. There is treatment for this and may involve taking some medication. It has been found that treating internet porn addiction is similar t
Answered by Dr. Shirley Schaye
Sexual Responsibilities
Great questions - my first thought is that psychopaths are actually quite rare whereas jerks are very common. A psychopath is one who derives pleasure out of hurting others - the associate you're referring to simply lives in denial and seems to have no respect for his wife, himself, or the values of
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Final Straw or the Straw that Broke the Camel's Back?
Sorry - no way to get a lie detector test. Time to be true to yourself. You don't trust him and with good reason. You probably feel like you have so much invested that you don't want to quit now...but all signs point to he's cheating and regardless of what he's doing to get help or not...what are yo
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Reality & Fantasy
My question to you would be - what does porn provide that reality does not? The fantasies involved with pornography do not have to be an obstacle to satisfying sex and emotional intimacy. It feels like there's something more substantive that's blocking intimacy. Is this a conclusion and direction yo
Answered by Jim LaPierre
Married, but I think about having sex with hookers all of the time
Thank you for your post. It sounds like you're going through a difficult time and I hope you'll find my response helpful. First of all, does your wife know what's going on? It's hard to tell because you say your wife blames herself. I'm unsure if you're needing help with decreasing your urges to eng
Answered by Dr. Lani Chin
I masturbate at work everyday... something wrong with me?
I'm unsure from your message if this behavior has become distressing for you. Whether or not this can be considered an "addiction" or "disorder" depends upon the level of impairment this has caused. Are your work assignments late or incomplete? Are you late to meetings? Is masturbating all you think
Answered by Dr. Lani Chin
Expressing your needs in a relationship
It sounds like your partner's needs are getting met while yours get neglected in your relationship. It seems like you're quite lonely and want your partner to pay attention to you and not the women he's talking to on his webcam. I would suggest having a conversation with him about what you're needin
Answered by Dr. Lani Chin
Defining Sexual Addiction
It sounds like you are really trying to understand yourself. Good for you for being curious about your behaviors and wanting to better understand yourself. First of all, throughout your question, you keep stating that you have "always been a sexual person," so I'm trying to understand why you might
Answered by Dr. Lani Chin
Pornography Addiction
It sounds like you are going through a tough time with your partner. Based on what you've said about your fiancee, it seems like he is needing more intensive therapy. I would recommend a sex therapist or someone that specializes in sex addiction. Although most treatments can show an immediate decrea
Answered by Dr. Lani Chin